compassion.

.live.learn.&love.

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A Christian girl in a chick flick world.

If you know me personally you are probably aware that I am a hopelessly romantic. As much as I hate it, deny it, and want to change it, it is just who I am.

So to save myself the pain of feeling lonely and having my heart pine for a Noah and Allie type relationship, I cut down on my chick flicks, romantic comedies, anything with love in it pretty much. Then I slowly started to cut out country songs so I wouldn’t have to listen about the campfire kisses, back road delights, or romantic fishing trips. Then I stopped listening to anything on the Top 40 because we all know those songs are just full of that love crap….

Slowly I was helping myself I guess. But that was all fake unrealistic stuff, what was I supposed to do about the real, raw love going on around me? My sister was marrying her high-school sweetheart, a guy she met in youth group whom she dated for almost six years before marrying. Or my parents who are my favorite fairytale of all, they had lockers near each other then chased after each other until their junior year, none of this would have happened if her step dad did not adopt her, that’s God right there, they have been the ultimate fairy tale ever since. Or what about my grandma who is still making my papaw proud every day since he has left and before that spent their life together, serving him? I couldn’t just cut these people out of my life or say “Hey could you just stop being you when I come around? Can you just stop loving that person for a while, ok? Thanks.” No I couldn’t.

So I revisited some of my Christian single books, laugh or call them self-help books all you want but they rocked my view of what these earthly romantic relationships meant. I want to share what I learned through reading, researching, and asking those around me. I have about five major lessons that I have learned through this personal journey. So I would love if you would stay tune for the next couple of days so I can share.

Filed under Christian singleblues

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This post is about what i have been going through these past few months. 
After a long rough week at school, medical tests, and the occasional self-doubt my breaking point had come.  i found myself laying on my cold bedroom floor listening to my sister and mom, and then i would be fine. One second i would be fine and functional and then i would not be able to function at all. i felt like i was alone and i was not living out my faith. i felt like a tired and fake Christian. i am living in a broken world and i am afraid of it all. Everything around me seemed like a huge weight. i didn’t feel the passion burning inside me. i couldn’t stand to be still because the silence was so harsh. i felt like it was me against the world, even knowing i had people around me. 
One night while i was curled up in a ball, in the corner of the shower, something kept running through my head; Shane Harper’s new song “Hold You Up”. 
“When it’s coming apart, you had it all. It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough. They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go. But you know you can’t. You know you won’t. It’s not easy, no. Finding the words to say. When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way. The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold. At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home. The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone. ‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul. It’s not easy, no. Finding the words to say. When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way. The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold. At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home. The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. It’s not easy, no. Finding the words to say. When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way. The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold. At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home. The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know. But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up. They’re gonna hold you up.
When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know. When nobody stands, stand on your own.”
There is a line in the song that is: “(demons) try to steal what you know.” My friend said to my face “that God wasn’t real.” But i know that He is. Another friend told me i couldn’t have any struggle because i had Jesus but i know that living for Christ isn’t easy. Why was i struggling so much before? No one can take away what i know and have learned myself. i know i can’t put my trust and hope in people but i have to put it in God. i wanted an answer to why i was going through this all the time. i would think i was better, and then i would relapse. i wanted an answer when all along i had the answer. When the devil takes over your surroundings you may feel lost and abandoned but you have the truth inside you. God will see you through. 
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

He will hold you up. The One who made you will protect you. 

“ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

i have the Holy Spirit inside me. i have the Bible knowledge. i am immersed in His glory and handiwork every day. Don’t be deceived and think that knowledge was stolen. You have to stand in what believe and hold on to that. No one can take your knowledge. Always stand for Christ and you will never go wrong. 

After getting out of the shower i turned the song on, grabbed some paper and markers, and started writing. Such strong words, that i wanted to be constantly reminded of and that encourage me, surround me when i go to bed and when i wake up. After rediscovering my knowledge, and comfort in the fact that no one could steal it, Then i was renewed, strengthened, and ready for the next battle for my Lord.

This post is about what i have been going through these past few months.

After a long rough week at school, medical tests, and the occasional self-doubt my breaking point had come.  i found myself laying on my cold bedroom floor listening to my sister and mom, and then i would be fine. One second i would be fine and functional and then i would not be able to function at all. i felt like i was alone and i was not living out my faith. i felt like a tired and fake Christian. i am living in a broken world and i am afraid of it all. Everything around me seemed like a huge weight. i didn’t feel the passion burning inside me. i couldn’t stand to be still because the silence was so harsh. i felt like it was me against the world, even knowing i had people around me.

One night while i was curled up in a ball, in the corner of the shower, something kept running through my head; Shane Harper’s new song “Hold You Up”.

“When it’s coming apart, you had it all.
It wasn’t enough. No, it’s not enough.
They tell you it’s not worth the price, so just let it go.
But you know you can’t. You know you won’t.
It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.
The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They see the fear in your eyes, heart sinks like a stone.
‘Cause when you’re afraid, it weighs on your soul.
It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.
The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
It’s not easy, no.
Finding the words to say.
When you’re feeling lost, you’ll find your way.
The world is so broken and sometimes it leaves you cold.
At nighttimes you can’t feel the fire to guide you home.
The demons will harm you and try to steal what you know.
But the angels, they brought you, and they’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.
They’re gonna hold you up.

When the timing is right, somehow you’ll know.
When nobody stands, stand on your own.”

There is a line in the song that is: “(demons) try to steal what you know.” My friend said to my face “that God wasn’t real.” But i know that He is. Another friend told me i couldn’t have any struggle because i had Jesus but i know that living for Christ isn’t easy. Why was i struggling so much before? No one can take away what i know and have learned myself. i know i can’t put my trust and hope in people but i have to put it in God. i wanted an answer to why i was going through this all the time. i would think i was better, and then i would relapse. i wanted an answer when all along i had the answer. When the devil takes over your surroundings you may feel lost and abandoned but you have the truth inside you. God will see you through.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13 (NIV)

He will hold you up. The One who made you will protect you.

“ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)


“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” Isaiah 43:2 (NIV)

i have the Holy Spirit inside me. i have the Bible knowledge. i am immersed in His glory and handiwork every day. Don’t be deceived and think that knowledge was stolen. You have to stand in what believe and hold on to that. No one can take your knowledge. Always stand for Christ and you will never go wrong.

After getting out of the shower i turned the song on, grabbed some paper and markers, and started writing. Such strong words, that i wanted to be constantly reminded of and that encourage me, surround me when i go to bed and when i wake up. After rediscovering my knowledge, and comfort in the fact that no one could steal it, Then i was renewed, strengthened, and ready for the next battle for my Lord.

Filed under shane harper hold you up Devos Christ

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double-life.

(I have been working on this post for almost two weeks. I prayed about it and struggled with it. After becoming very familiar with the backspace button and quiet time with my God, this is what I came up with) 

When you go to the arcade as a kid you have to pick and choose games. I rarely went to the arcade but when I did I only got a certain amount tokens to spend. In 2nd grade my teacher would hand out passes to eat lunch with her in the classroom. You would get to pick the day and could sit anywhere in the room. Once you handed over your pass you couldn’t get it back, you spent it. As Christians we treat our “Christian” tokens or pass for when we want to. We treat this so-called “new life” like a ticket, when we find it convenient. As soon as we walk in the Church doors we cashed in our ticket to put on the mask, get on the ride, play the game, or however you want to describe it. Sometimes people find themselves in this situation but swapped. They use their passes and tokens for the “other” life. But in the end we are all doing the same, fooling no one but ourselves. We’re living a double-life.

In an episode of Friends, Joey’s dad is cheating on his mom with another woman. They both know about each other and are fine as long as they have his dad in their lives. How could someone do that to people he claimed to love? How could those women even put up with sharing him? How could they deal with not being the only one he loved? BUT then I stopped myself. I do that same thing all the time. I found myself with one leg on shore and the other on the boat many of times. I wanted the best of both worlds. I know Hannah Montana is running through your head but she was lying because you cannot get the best of both worlds.  I noticed myself being Joey’s dad in my everyday life. I wasn’t fully living either, God or the world.

Since when can Christians turn on and off the switch to be faithful? They can’t, because when you live for Christ you fully live for Him or you don’t live for Him at all. Because when you accept Christ it turns into a lifestyle, beliefs, morals, actions, everything changes. So when you are a Christ-follower and BELIEVE He is your Lord and Savior, your life changes. You will struggle and fail, but you will find your strength in God. You learn from your sins and try your best, with the Lord’s strength, to avoid the sin again. You will not just get the hang of it, you will find yourself switching in and out of it but Our God forgives. Do not be like Joey’s dad and accept the lifestyle of a double-life, try and change. Join me in my continuous change for Christ.

Filed under joey tribbiani f.r.i.e.n.d.s Christ Devos double-life God lifestyle

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finding.the.balance.

“laziness!” i answered back at my girls when we were talking about what gets in the way of our time with Jesus. at the end of the day i just want to sit with my family and watch TV. i do not want to read or even think. i want to sit and be lazy.

when i was in Honduras i was blessed with the chance to view life differently. the people i met were never in a rush, time was nothing to them, and they just enjoyed life with no time restrictions. they simply take it one day at a time. i would have never been able to see life this way if it was not for these people. i am always in a rush to get to the next thing, meeting, projects, job, anything and everything. i was too busy. i learned to sit and take in GOD’S ENDLESS GLORY.

SO, where is the balance? what is the answer?

in Proverbs you can come across many verses about laziness, mostly in chapter 26. in Ezekiel 16:49, laziness is stated to be one of the sins of the city Sodom. do not be a citizen of such a thing.

 “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically” -Romans 12:11 (NLT)

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.””                            -Luke 10:38-42 (ESV)

what a perfect example of how being too busy can distract you from Christ. here was Jesus sitting in Martha’s house and she was too worried and caught up in what she had to do, she could not even bask in His glory. but here we are with Christ himself in us and surrounding us and we shame Martha for such a thing when we are doing the same if not worse. Martha stopped and learned, so let us do the same.

so where is the balance? it is in Christ.

be with Him, overcome your laziness, stop the busyness.

do not be a citizen of Sodom or a Martha copycat.

find your balance in Christ.

Filed under Christ Christian faith Bible God balance Devos devotion busy lazy Sodom Jesus Ezekiel Romans Proverbs Martha